Hello, fish. OK, so we're being sarcastic, and you're probably already steaming. Fish? How dare we call you such a thing! Just because you're new to the world of poker and all doesn't mean that you're an idiot that other people should be targeting. That's just not fair!

We hate to break it to you, but life isn't fair and the truth is that when you're a newcomer to the world of poker, you’re going to be the first on the hit list. Poker players are going to aim at you because you don't have as much experience with poker strategy as they do. Don't let it get to you -- it's just part of the game. As you rise in the ranks, you'll probably target a few fish in your time too.

Usually when people are teasing you for being new, they don't mean anything by it. Sure, there are people that assume that all newbies are donkeys that will make stupid bets, but that’s not the way it has to be. If you're really trying to get things done, there are a few things that you need to know if you’re really going to get serious about playing poker.

Of course, that's another point that needs to be raised before we go any farther. If you're not serious about playing the game, then you don't have anything to worry about. Hang out on Pogo or another site where you don't have to risk any money. You'll be able to chat with some great people and get in a few hands here and there. It's not anything life changing, but it is a great way to pass a lazy summer day without going outside in the heat. Yet if you want to make money, it's all about strategy. It's all about getting as much money as you can, and it's all about building the best strategy that allows you to keep making money for the long haul.

Poker takes time -- that’s the first lesson you have to get your head around as a newcomer. A lot of newbies have read about Chris Moneymaker's super win in 2003 at the WSOP and they think that they're going to follow suit overnight. It takes years and years to develop the skill necessary to play that type of high stakes poker. There’s a lot of money at stake and you don't want to end up striking out before you get any money of your own, get it?

So the next lesson is that if you really want to become a stellar poker player, you're going to have to learn from the bottom. There's a temptation to play high stakes poker right from the beginning, as much as your bankroll will allow. However, this is a mistake of massive proportions. You don't want to do this because all it means is that you run the risk of running out of your money sooner. The low stakes don't sound fun, but they're the perfect way of really polish your game. It's a great way to build the card playing history you'll need later to refine your poker game. Also, as you play you'll develop more questions about the game. The ones that can't be solved by a simple Google search will need to be taken to the forum of your choice. There are plenty of poker playing forums out there, so it's not like you have to learn to play better on your own.

Asking for help might seem odd in such a competitive format, but poker is something that attracts a lot of geeky players. Geeks, as a rule of thumb, like to deconstruct things and figure out how things work inside and out. Math is a big part of poker, so you have to count on getting a few math lectures here and there -- statistics, expected value, etc. The information you need is all going to be online, but there's nothing wrong with investing in a few books as well as videos.

Videos? Yep -- it's true. You can get video instruction on playing poker, which some players find very helpful. There is of course lasso software that will let you analyze hands as well. There are even simulators that will let you play poker against the computer, and then analyze your play from there. It’s just a matter of figuring out what's going to help you refine your game the most.

When it comes to the actual game of poker, it's important that you play only good hands. It's tempting to think that you can bluff at the low stakes games, but this is not a good idea. For one, it's what all new players think, and once you start bluffing at a table as a newbie, it's going to be very obvious what your strategy is. You'll get overturned and crushed by people with higher bankrolls as they gleefully part you from your money.

Will you get lucky hands? Sure, but you don't ever want to count on just luck to win a poker game. It will end up biting you in the rear when you least expect it. Fall back on sound poker theory and you'll have more good days than bad -- we assure you!